Monday, March 16, 2015

Mata : Episod 3

8 Mac 2015

Setiap kali aku merenung cermin,
mata itu aku perhati pertama tamanya.
Kalau merah, aku akan selalu mengusapnya.
"Mata, baiklah engkau. Allah, jadikan ia sembuh."

Betullah sabda nabi S.A.W.
Antara nikmat yang sering manusia lupakan ialah nikmat kesihatan.

Jangan tunggu sakit,
baru nak cari Allah.
Kenapa bila ada orang meninggal, ada orang sakit tenat di rumah,
baru dilaung-laungkan kalimah-kalimah suci agung itu?

Appointment jam 2 petang.
Biasanya apabila aku telah buat temu janji dengan mana-mana pihak, 
aku akan sampai awal beberapa minit.
Jadi aku berkira-kira,

"Doctor mesti take time nak rest. Memandangkan 2 petang itu adalah selepas recess hour waktu pejabat depa"

Tapi niat itu aku batalkan bila aku teringat yg doctor L is a Chinese.


As promised, pukul 2 petang memang doctor L dah ada. It's just I need few minutes to do the eye-checking session before I can meet him.

"Adik, adik dah boleh masuk"

The staff in charge called me.

Doctor L smiled broadly. I can still remember he had those brown shirt he wore once, and now he was still wearing it. *okay that's pretty much not the case*

"Hi doctor! How  are you?"

I need to have that friendly-mood embarking the conversation.
This time I'm quite different.
Each time I meet any doctor, (yeah I can feel this year I had majority of my weekends meeting doctor)
I'll express everything, I'll ask anything I want to know instead letting anyone else speaking on my behalf.

I told and took out all the medication I consumed for the time being
and explained to him which medicine the gov doctor did ask me to cease, which medicine I felt didn't help at all.
And of course, again my right eye needed to be checked under the slit lamp. 

Doctor L said, my right eye was still in a worrying condition.
As worse as when he checked before.
He adviced me which medication I can still continue.
And he said, I still needed to use the steroid but he would give one which was better than what I had before.
Totally forgot to ask, why I still needed to use the steroid since the doctor nodded when I explained that that steroid could add up pressure on my eyes.

And Alhamdulillah.
In short term of use, the steroid is really helpful.
My right eye is getting better from time to time in term of redness I think.

A normal pair of eyes has been a really valuable nikmah Allah blessed upon me.
Each time I glance over my right eye, I still need to remember those lugubrious moment I used to have whenever the eye gets red.
It's the way that I need to always remember.
If it's not because of Him, my eyes wouldn't heal.
I believe.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

What fitrah did to me

I remember when my lecturer once said 
"You know. I as a woman. I only use one handbag. My shoes, I only wear this. Everything, I will wear until the stuffs have totally worn out and cannot be functional at all, then I'll buy new."

Except for clothes I suppose.

She continued, "Whenever I have something new, usually ppl will give me, it's not me that want it, then I'll accept it and straight away give other people......

"......People perceive that this might slush my status. This might bring me into poorness....

"But I don't think such. I think, the more I have, the more I feel narrow. The more I feel like there is something  disturbing me. I need to vanished them...."

"...therefore I donate..."

"...I'm not afraid of poorness. Why should I?..."

"....those who want more is the poor. Because they want more and more...."

"...they never have satisfaction..."

"...and my satisfaction, is when ..."

".....I give people...."

"...I felt rich..."

Easy enough as a woman we tend to have the extreme feeling of eagerness when we meet new things on sale.
We want everything to be super complete that we own everything.
I would dare to say it is fitrah by the way.

What we do with fitrah is not to blame it.
But to figure out ways to control the behavior derived from that fitrah.
Easy to figure out.
Uneasy to carry out.

Thou with pristine heart which I would say care less about being perfectionist in front of people,
will always be careful in doing anything.
She / he will put this principle in mind,

"Have I already own this?"
"Why should I buy this?"
"Okay. If one day I was destined to get a thing better than this, am I willingly give this to anyone else?"
"Do I own this to just show off or this is what I really need?"

May Allah put you and me in His blessings when we're dumped into such predicament.
I believe. 
By putting yourself to be much closer to Allah, 
In sha Allah. He'll keep you from those was was and grant you with yaqeen in determining something.
So you won't be lunatics alone in the shopping mall!